You may not think that talking about something like sex fetishes is a topic you can broach on the first date, but if you are wanting a casual fling with a woman and nothing more, it is precisely what you need to discuss because you know what you want from her and she needs to be able to tell you what she wants from you. Women are just as open about sex as men are, but men don’t see them that way so talking about sex (especially kinky sex) with them is “taboo” in the dating world. Here’s how you can get over this and get to the heart of the matter.
Be Open And Honest
After the appetizers and drinks have arrived, tell her that you have something you’d like to discuss with her and ask her if she is open for an honest, frank conversation. Chances are she will be impressed with how blunt you are and she’ll comply. Then tell her that you aren’t looking for anything serious at the moment, but you would like to talk about possibly having a casual sexual relationship with her if this is something she may be open to. Take the conversation from there, and if she says yes talk about the fetishes.
Ask Her About Things She Doesn’t Like
Ask her about things she doesn’t like first, so you know what topics are off-limits to her. This will be the easiest way to figure out if she has experience with fetishes and how open she is to them. After you have talked about what she doesn’t like, what she isn’t willing to do, and what she has never tried (and you’ve talked about the same things) you can move on to the next topic.
Ask Her To Tell You Three Things She Likes
Now that you know what she doesn’t like, ask her to tell you things she enjoys. You don’t have to do this right after the first two topics, because she may want to take a break from the sex talk and get to know you better. You can weave the sex talk into other conversation and get a feel for her personality as well as for her sexual prowess. If she is able to flirt with you as she talks about her day, her dog, and her favorite dessert, she is probably into you and open to having sex with you if the night continues well.
Don’t Just Sleep With Her On The First Date, But Follow Up With Her
After all of your sex talk she may be thinking you will sleep with her on the first date, but you shouldn’t act like you do. Let her make the move, and if she doesn’t politely ask her if you can kiss her good night. She will be impressed that you can be polite about the subject, and this is your opportunity to seal the deal. Even If she does or doesn’t sleep with you, you should still follow up with her to secure future hookups.